I have struggled to find the words to say about what we are going through right now. Really there are no words, I just feel a little lost.
The ultrasound yesterday, revealed the bleed had subsided, not as large and it looked to be going away. The only surprise really was that since so much of the bleed looked different, we were once again able to see the other sac that we thought was detached. Both sacs are still there, and both are still empty. Yesterday, I was 7 weeks. The little heartbeat that was there is not only gone, but the sac is now completely empty.
We are waiting one more week. One week to just be sure. This looks to be something I will need a D&C for and I don't want to jump in without giving us a little more time. I feel pregnant, dizzy, tired, and super hungry all the time. This makes it so hard. It's hard not to be discouraged.
We wanted to end this hard year on a happy note. Now we just have heavy hearts.
We wonder what God has in store for us, as we walk this journey that seems to hurt a little more than we expected it could. Although, through this we still have hope, and we are clinging to it with everything we have left in us.
There are 3 little ones still waiting for a chance to be our next child...we are thankful for that opportunity that we have never had before. I don't know how long I will have to wait. I do know my HCG levels have got to be sky high, so it may take my body a while to recognize this and go back to normal so my cycles will start back up and be normal. Maybe, March? Maybe not, we just don't know.
For now though, we remain hopeful...and are waiting just a little longer in hopes of a miracle, but are prepared if there isn't one.
We appreciate your prayers.
(((hugs)))
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