Roller Coaster

In my life I have experienced too many times that I feel like I am on a roller coaster of emotions..I really hate roller coasters too.  It's up one day and down the next, and then it repeats itself over and over. 

I've learned to go with it most of the time, but there are days I would like to shake my fist in protest of the many ups and downs we have been going through.  This past couple of weeks has certainly been one of those times. 

Again last night I was dealing with a lot of cramping and bleeding.  Once again today I dragged myself in to see the RE to check things out and make sure nothing needs to be done.  Every time I go, I expect little. 

Today we find though how that HOPE we hold onto so desperately can change things so drastically in one tiny little moment. 

We have a Christmas Miracle, one that we hoped for, but guarded our hearts with at the same time.  Yes there is still bleeding, and lots of cramping, and we can't seem to do anything to make it stop...But today was different. 

This day brought so much hope, that I can't even begin to know what to do with myself.  There was a little heart beating away, and measuring perfectly...But wait, there was more....another little heart was beating away in a sac right next to the other one. 

To say I am in shock would be the understatement of the year, but I really am in SHOCK.  We are so very hopeful, but walk forward from here with caution...and we Thank God for this, we know these little lives are in His hands.  He knows the outcome of all this, and we have to leave it at that.  We need prayer for healing, and prayer that these little precious ones are healthy, and stay put strong and healthy until it is safe for them both to be born. 

Today was a good day...and I know there is always a chance that it could change tomorrow, but we hold on with everything in us to that four letter word I say so often....Hope.